Short Blonde Jokes

  1. Why does a Blonde keep empty beer bottles in her fridge? They are for those who don’t drink!
  2. What did the Blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?” I wonder if it’s mine?”
  3. Why do Blondes have “TGIF” written on their shoes?Toes Go In First.
  4. Why shouldn’t Blondes have coffee breaks?It takes too long to retrain them.
  5. What do you call an eternity? Four Blondes at a four way stop.
  6. Why did 18 Blondes go to the R-rated movie? Because they heard that under 17 was not admitted.
  7. Three Blondes were driving to Disneyland. After being in the car for four hours, they finally saw a sign it said “Disneyland left” so they turned around and went home.
  8. Three Blondes are stuck on a deserted island, when one of them finds a lamp on the beach. She picks it up and gives it a little rub and a genie pops out. The genie looks at the three Blondes and says, “I normally give three wishes, but since there are three of you, I will grant each of you one wish.” Well, the first one is tired of being on the island, so she wishes to go back home. POOF!! She disappears. The second one said she too is tired of the island, and wishes to go home. POOF!! She too disappears. The genie then turns to the last Blonde and asks her what her wish is. “Gee,” she says, “I’m awfully lonely here by myself. I wish my friends were still here …”
  9. What did the Blonde say when she opened the box of Cheerios? Oh look, daddy….. doughnut seeds.
  10. How do you confuse a Blonde? Give her a pack of M&M’s and tell her to put them in alphabetical order.
  11. Why was the Blonde upset when she got her Driver’s License? Because she got an F in sex.
  12. What goes VROOM, SCREECH, VROOM, SCREECH, VROOM, SCREECH?A Blonde going through a flashing red light.
  13. Why don’t blondes like making Kool-Aid? Because they can’t fit 8 cups of water in the little envelope.
  14. What do blondes and cow pies have in common? The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.
  15. What do you call it when a blonde drives down the street with her head out the window?Refueling.
  16. Why can’t blondes fart? Because they never stop talking long enough to build up any pressure.
  17. What do you call nine blondes standing in a circle? A dope ring.
  18. Why can’t blondes be pharmacists? They can’t get the bottle in the typewriter.
  19. What do you call five blondes at the bottom of the ocean? An air pocket.
  20. What to you call a basement full of blondes? A whine cellar.
  21. Why do Blondes have TGIF on their shirts? This goes in front.
  22. Hear about the blonde that got an AM radio? It took her a month to realize she could play it at night.
  23. What happened to the blonde ice hockey team? They drowned in Spring training.
  24. What did the blonde say when she saw the sign in front of the YMCA? “Look! they spelled MACYS wrong.
  25. Why do blondes like lightning? They think someone is taking their picture.
  26. Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence? To see what was on the other side.
  27. How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday? Tell her the joke on Wednesday?